Humor and other Interesting Stuff from the Net
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Things we learn from the movies
- During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a
strip joint at least once.
- All telephone nos. in America begin with the digits 555.
- Most dogs are immortal.
- If being chased through the town you can usually take cover in a
passing St. Patrick's day parade
- at any time of the year.
- All beds have special L shaped sheets which reach up to the arm
pit level on a woman but only to the waist level on the man lying
beside her.
- All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French
bread.
- Its easy for anyone to land a plane providing there's someone in
the control tower to talk you down.
- If you need to reload your gun you will always have more
ammunition
- even if you havent been carrying any before now.
- Once appled , lipstick will never rub off
- even while scuba
diving.
- The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding
place.No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you
can travel to any other part of the building without difficulty.
- You're very unlikely to survive any battle in any war if you make
the mistake of showing soemone a picture of your sweetheart back
home.
- Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer,it will
not be necessary to speak the language( a german accent will do).
- Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects
you personally at that precise moment.
- An electronic fence,powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause
no lasting damage to an eight year old child.
- Any lock can be picked by a credit card or paper clip in seconds
- unless its the door to burning building with a child trapped
inside.
- When they are alone, all foreigners speak english to each other.
- Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make
sure they are deliberately assigned to a partner who is their total
opposite.
- It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight
involving martial arts
- your enemies will wait patiently and
attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner
until you have knocked out their predecessors.
- If you decide to start dancing on the street, everyone you bump
into will know all the steps.
- A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from
duty.
- It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or
ending phone conversations.
- Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and
pant.
- Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.
- A single match will be sufficient to light up a room thye size
of RFK stadium.
- The Chief of Police will always suspend his star detective
- or
give him 48 hours to finish the job.
- Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.
- Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon, and waffles for their family
every morning , even though their husbands and children never have
the time to eat it.
- Word processors never display a cursor on screen but will always
say : Enter Password now.
- If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any
strange noises in their most revealing underwear.
- Kitchens dont have light switches.when entering a kitchen, you
should open the fridge door and use the hat light instead.
- When paying for a taxi,dont look at your wallet as you take out a
bill
- just grab one at random and hand it over.It will always be
the exact fare or you can always ask him to keep the change.
- If a large pane of glass is visible,someone will be thrown
through it before long.
- A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating,
but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
- The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
- If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or
killer beast, the mayor's first concern will be the tourist trade
or his forthcoming art exhibition.
- You will always find a chainsaw when you need one.
- It is always possible to park directly opposite the building you
are visiting.
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